Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Newsworthy News


Long time no see. I've been pretty MIA lately (due to an extreme case of Thanksfeasting coma), but no worries, I am finally fully revived. I know that whilst gone, I missed out on a lot of things, so I caught up on the news to keep me in check with what's been going on in the world.

A majority, if not all, of the articles I read were fascinating and informative. You know, really served their purpose. However, I kept track of the ones that truly stood out to me in which I deemed to be most important in knowing. Today, I will share those very special and key pieces with you. Note that they were elemental in getting me up to date with current events.

1. Let's start off with this...

"Where is she going with this?" I promise it's greatly informative.
Who's legs are those? The ones with the high heeled platform booties. Answer: Beyonce's. According to this article, the author said "we'd recognize those legs anywhere!" But, uh oh, I did not. Boy, I've really been out of touch with society. Good thing I now know what Beyonce's stems look like. Thanks Daily Mail!

2. Kimye Gets Artsy and The Kardashian's Khristmas Kard
(To be honest, I have really missed the Kardashians.)

Great, there are now Warhol prints of Kim Kardashian! If you look at this one from a deeper perspective, her Botoxed lips non-egotistical personality really stands out. Also, Kanye's self-referred "perfect b**ch" is compared to Marilyn Monroe and Liz Taylor's "epic, almost cartoonish beauty" in this article. Placing a reality TV star in the same category as two of the best film actresses of all time. All time. Well done, Daily Mail, well done.

Shocking. No boob emphasis. This piece is truly meaningful.
I was surprised when I saw this because I was starting to worry about Kimmy K and Kanye. My hopes of them staying together are still intact and have not been crushed yet. Phew. Sigh of relief.

You know what I was really pondering about, though? How the Kardashian's Christmas card would look like. I spent days and nights worrying about this. Weeks even, pre-Thanksfeasting coma.

Fortunately, this article came to my rescue again (many thanks) and included snippets of the Kardashian clan's holiday card. Phew. I can now get a good night's rest. Second sigh of relief.

Looks like Kanye's artsiness is rubbing off on the whole family. 
Kim K Warhol Prints: $30,000. Kardashian Khristmas Kard: $250,000. My Satisfaction: Priceless.

3. Kim Komes Out On Top

Kim "put the booty in bootylicious" and beat Carmen Electra in a fashion showdown. Well, this is a no brainer. Kim: Emphasis of photoshopped side boobs. Check. Angelina Jolie-esque photoshopped leg. Check. Pouty photoshopped lips. Check. Of course Kim takes home the prize.

Come on Carmen, step it up.

(This post was originally written around December 6th, 2013 - I think - and never posted until now, June 24, 2014. It was forgotten about. Completely forgotten about. Probably because Kim Kardashian took up pretty much the whole post - 66.666666% of the newsworthy news was about her. Whoops. Hashtag, embarrassing. Hashtag, sorry so sorry.)